Section how balance helps to be. Work and personal life: how to find balance? Why is the balance upset?

Our generation is obsessed with looking for harmony in everything, finding bad habits, and then publicly getting rid of them, or proudly leaving the “comfort zone”, and then falling miserably out of it back into reality. In the same way, on the topic of finding a balance between family and work, you will find a lot of magazine discussions that in the introduction will tell you that you must definitely have a successful career and personal life (and if you don’t have them, then it’s your own fault), and then throw up you receive recommendations in the spirit of “learn to prioritize”, “watch your daily schedule” or “don’t do two things at once”, as if in fact the fact that you don’t even have time for a hairdresser is to blame for the fact that you You didn’t set a reminder on your iPhone in time, or you got lost in the subway at a transfer station.

These tips look even more comical (if not more tragic) if they are offered to the average working woman with a child (like the main character of the film “Moscow Doesn’t Believe in Tears,” when the plot has not yet reached a happy ending). For example, try to prioritize when a child cannot explain what hurts, but the boss clearly explained to you on the phone that he wants to see you at work tomorrow. Or follow the “Don’t do two things at once” rule when you’re already doing five or six things at a time.

It seems to us that the balance between family and work really lies somewhere between correct logistics and the iron calm of an experienced yogi, but in reality it turns out that this desired balance for a man and a woman does not mean the same thing

What is the barrier for us to achieve balance between career and personal life? Let's figure it out.

Hyper-responsibility complex

We are taught that work and family are two parts that cannot be achieved separately, otherwise you will be considered “inferior.” This means that the “prioritization” option does not exist for women if, in essence, they need to be in two places at once, show the best version of themselves everywhere, and at the same time try not to go crazy along the way. This complex of excellent students is also fueled by women's magazines, which assure that no matter what you should constantly lose weight, take care of yourself, improve, because there will always be someone better and more beautiful around the corner - and this is what you should be wary of. As a result, women “automatically” develop such a level of demands on themselves that they simply do not allow themselves to relax: they are afraid to delegate the child to a nanny so as not to be branded as a bad mother, refuse a piece of cake so as not to gain weight, or sign up for pole dancing in order to to remain a sexy thing, when in fact they would rather lie in the bathroom with a glass of wine and not think about anything.

Trying to please everyone except yourself (the real you, not the magazine self) develops into an obsession with self-improvement, which in fact is completely unattainable or simply useless

Inability to share household responsibilities

Women often don’t even raise the issue of sharing household responsibilities with their partner because they believe that he is too busy or will do everything so badly that it’s easier to do everything yourself than to redo it later. Thus, the participation of men in daily chores is voluntarily leveled to a minimum, sometimes even with the recognition of their incompetence in this type of work. Now remember that you, too, did not know how to iron from birth and did not learn to cook from infancy, and in this case, household chores are no different from learning a foreign language: if you are ready to try and try and there is someone nearby who will give advice or makes adjustments, then over time you will do better and better, regardless of whether you are a man or a woman. Don't forget that you also work, spend time and nerves on the road and at the same time are always ready to participate in household chores. But if one more person joins in, then the burden of responsibilities becomes much smaller.

“I need” instead of “I want”

Combining your career and personal life means that the list of tasks and responsibilities that you need to fulfill increases. How to try to get rid of some of your responsibilities without remorse? Try to work through the entire list and divide it into two columns - “need” and “want”. The tasks in the second column are easier to complete because they come from your conscious desire. But the points in the “must” column should be revised: at the first stage, try to cross out those that you honestly don’t need, but are simply carried out under the label “this is how it should be” or “everyone does this.” And at the second stage, try to partially reformulate those tasks that remain in this column, with the message “I want” instead of “I must.”

Confidence that family is also work

In fact, from childhood we are assured that love is a struggle, and harmonious relationships are hard work. That is why many women do not live in marriage, but survive according to strict rules, they try to overcome themselves, because they are explained that the husband will leave a tired, sad wife, that they must without hesitation sacrifice personal time for the sake of family concerns and at the same time come home with smiling and in a good mood, like on a holiday. The approach to family as work is not entirely bad if you think about it from the perspective of well-thought-out projects and equal participation, but it is precisely this that distorts the whole essence of this idea, because people start a family for pleasure and for the soul, and not to fill out a work book or tick the contract.

VKontakte Facebook Odnoklassniki

The concept of “work-life-balance” first appeared in the late 80s. Scientists then proved that an imbalance between work and personal time often leads to depression, chronic fatigue, and mental disorders.

There is a popular joke: A man is asked: “Does your job satisfy you?” He shrugs and answers: “When I go to work, I want all the women, when I leave work, I don’t want anything. Probably satisfies."

Epiphany

Despite the current picture, successful managers were able to realize the importance of “work-life-balance”. People who have been able to achieve a balance between work and personal life are more effective professionally and have good health.

There is a close relationship between the harmonious life of a working person and the income of the enterprise. The owners of the Marriott hotel chain, for example, adhere to the following philosophy: “Take care of your employees, and they will take care of your customers, who in turn will take care of your profits.”

Some large German companies actively help staff find a balance between career and personal life. A policy of friendliness towards working parents is being implemented. The work schedule changes to flexible or remote. More attention is paid to health and physical development.

In Japan, “work-life-balance” problems are gradually beginning to be solved at the state level. A request was received from the Minister for Population and Gender Equality to include in the staffing table a position for a manager to create a balance between the main areas of life - “work / personal time”.

The Japanese government has issued a Decree on the balance of personal life and work. It includes 14 points. One of them, for example, recommends increasing the number of employees of enterprises with the ability to work remotely.

Making a diagnosis

you feel guilty for not spending enough time with your family,

the competitiveness of your company decreases, employees have a negative attitude towards you and their responsibilities,

health weakens,

on vacation, devote more time to production issues, avoiding communication with your family,

you associate the feeling of fatigue with overwork at work,

due to domestic troubles, you begin to build personal relationships in the office

Means, it's time to sound the alarm and change something.

What to do?

1. Leave your work at the door

Even the most beloved work should not be devoted 24 hours a day. It’s not for nothing that people say: time for business, time for fun. Unfortunately, many people think about it even when the working day has long been completed. The family has gathered at the common table, and your thoughts are still hovering around the future deal. It sounds strange, but while you are close to your family, you continue to “be in the office.” To prevent this from happening, learn to switch. No matter how important work is, it cannot replace communication with loved ones.

2. Balance of affairs

Do you really want to have a work-life balance? Then recognize: both areas are equally important. You should not give preference to one at the expense of the other. If you have enough to do at work, see if you have enough time for “home”?

3. When “No” is for good

It is sometimes difficult to refuse a friend or partner. I really want to remain “good” in the eyes of others. You don't have to become aggressive by saying no. You can learn to pronounce this word softly but firmly. And then you will be protected from many family conflicts, the origins of which lie in inattention and the inability to spend more time within your own walls.

4. Two in one

Sometimes there are cases that are similar to each other, but relate to different areas of life. Or home and work plans overlap in time. There is an opportunity - do them at the same time. For example, if you are composing a business letter, send an email to a friend.

5. Keep a record of upcoming tasks

Get into the habit of planning your work day and recording your notes on paper. It’s true what they say: “a bad pencil is always better than a good memory.” If necessary, the current list can always be updated. But you will be calm - while doing personal affairs, you will no longer have to be distracted if you suddenly remember something important regarding work.

6. Is it worth talking about work?

Don’t be afraid to talk to your family about your victories and defeats, career growth, immediate prospects, and colleagues. Of course, you shouldn't talk about this every day. But occasionally, by sharing part of your “office” life with your family, you let your loved ones know that you are close to them and not immersed in thoughts about work.

7. Don't lie to yourself!

Ask yourself - are you happy? Is it a pleasure to come to the office every day or is it time to change your career? Perhaps we should start paying more attention to completely different things? Be honest with yourself! How long during the day can you spend time with family members, chat with friends, or engage in your favorite hobby?

8. Be responsible!

In fact, work cannot deprive anyone of a full personal life if you yourself do not allow this to happen. Become responsible for setting priorities. Go to your son's football game or stay up late thinking about a new business plan - the choice is yours!

9. Don't keep up with the times

Many benefits of civilization make life much easier... Sometimes give up watching the next “movie masterpiece” and take a walk with your other half before going to bed, looking at the starry sky. Lock your phone when you watch your daughter's performance at a school function.

10. Don't divide

For many of us, our job is to communicate. The skills of making deals, creating a positive image, and practicing interaction with partners are studied and improved. Goodwill and ethical relationships are very important in the professional sphere. But do you remain as attentive and courteous towards your family? After all, they are also an integral part of your life. A sense of personal joy and happiness harmonizes life much more than successful career advancement.

11. Border - at “eight”

Throughout life we ​​play various social roles. The same person in a specific situation changes his image - now he is a strict boss, now he is a gentle husband, a caring father, an energetic tennis player, a member of an amateur photography club, etc.

It has been calculated that if a person plays fewer than eight social roles, his life is under control and he feels great. Exceeding this number results in an imbalance.

12. Happy pages

“If you want to be happy, be it!” - stated Kozma Prutkov. What if there is a desire, but there is absolutely no idea how to do it? What to do then?

Believe me, science has found a solution here too. Psychologists say: becoming happy is not difficult. It’s enough just to learn to see and appreciate the good that surrounds us. Buy yourself a small notebook and regularly write down the wonderful moments that happened during the day. Let there be at least ten of them - from a child smiling in the morning to a grandiose purchase that has been planned for a long time. Try it, it works!

13. Allow yourself to help

While you devote yourself fully to work and home, please do not forget about yourself. Your health, good mood, vigor are essential to maintaining life balance. Therefore, do not strive to do everything 100% yourself. If you are tired and have a hard time coping with the situation in the office or outside of it, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Or delegate your affairs to someone who is quite capable of doing them. Responsibility is a valuable quality, but not so much that you take on absolutely everything. Hire a nanny, an additional secretary, have dinner at a restaurant if you haven’t had time to cook at home. Don't let yourself become exhausted - accept the help of others.

14. Turning time into a friend

Do you know the feeling when you don’t have enough time for something important? Are you starting to get nervous and push yourself to meet the deadline? Usually such haste does not lead to anything good. The solution is simple - when planning your day, identify the three most important things to do. And start implementing them in the morning. If you manage to finish ahead of schedule - great - start doing something else. You will see for yourself how quickly you will begin to manage everything over time.

If for some reason you still cannot achieve a balance between your professional activities and personal life, do not be discouraged. The story of Nigel Marsh, Group Director of Young and Rubicam Brands for Australia and New Zealand. For 7 years he studied the issue of maintaining a home/work balance, which he wrote about in the books “Fat, Forty, Burnt”, “Fat, Forty and Shot”.

My wife called me at the office one day and said: “Nigel, we need to pick up our son from school.” I left work early that day and picked Harry up at the gate. We walked to the park, swung on the swings, and played funny games. Then we visited a small cafe, where we enjoyed pizza, and returned home. I helped him put on his favorite pajamas and then read a chapter from Roald Dahl's James and the Giant Peach. He put him in bed, wrapped him in a blanket, kissed his forehead and said: “Good night, my friend.” As I was leaving, he called out to me: “Dad, this was the best day of my entire life!”

We set course for other shores

Sometimes the notorious “life-balance” is disrupted due to the fact that work ceases to bring satisfaction. And then we begin to dream about other opportunities to realize ourselves in the professional field.

For your next choice to be successful, you must first understand your talents and dreams. Because only by fulfilling your destiny can you find happiness.

Talent- certain abilities inherent from birth that are revealed with the acquisition of skill and experience.

If it’s difficult to understand yourself, try using the tips of Ron Leider, who described the 8 main human talents:

1. Linguistics. This type likes word games, rhymes, and tongue twisters. His natural gift is reading, writing, oratory.

2. Logic. A native of this type is good at counting, loves facts, figures, and calculations. His talent lies in rational critical thinking and a mathematical approach to problem solving.

3. Imagination. The strength of this type is imaginative thinking. If imagination and perception of colors, shapes, textures are developed, then the existing gift is to think in images, to see the world through shapes and colors.

4. Music. People with this talent love singing and have a well-developed ear for music and a sense of rhythm.

5. Kinesthetics. A person with such a gift enjoys various exercises, sports, dancing, and working with his hands. You can design models, sculpt, dance, and enjoy physical activity.

6. Interpersonal relationships. Talent is found in those who are concerned about the feelings of others. Their gift is understanding other people's needs, feelings, desires, and the ability to work with people. Such an individual is able to see the world through the eyes of others and interact effectively with others.

7. Reflection. If there is a tendency towards introspection, thinking about one’s own actions, then self-direction, understanding internal needs and feelings - this is what there is a tendency towards.

8. Modeling. The area of ​​interest for this type of talent is the systematic classification, analysis and modeling of events and phenomena. At the same time, there is an intuitive understanding of how the world should be structured and what is the relationship between things and phenomena in it.

Having determined “who you are” and what you want to achieve, you can proceed to the next stage. Find the type of activity that you like. It may be possible to transform an existing enterprise or open a new direction that will better meet your needs than others.

Selling everything and starting from scratch is not wise. But you can gradually begin to wind down your existing business, paying more and more attention to a new source of income.

Consider creating a balance between career and family. Professional achievements are undoubtedly significant, but let's not pay triple the price for success. You can devote yourself entirely to work, pushing your family into the background, but then you will be left with nothing.

What is “work-life balance”, why is it disrupted and how to maintain it? The president of the cosmetics company Laboratory Irene Bucur, the co-founder of Facebook and a billionaire share their advice.

What is “work-life balance”

The term “work-life balance” appeared in the late 80s. The Cambridge Online Dictionary explains it as the ratio of time spent on work to time spent on the things you love: yourself, family, friends, leisure. The concept of “work-life balance” in the Russian-speaking space is more familiar and customary as “balance between work and personal life.”

We heard his philosophical understanding from Irina Bukur, creator of the premium brand of designer living cosmetics Irene Bukur:

“The term “balance,” in my opinion, is not entirely appropriate here. I would rather talk about harmony. If you have the feeling that you are missing something in your life, it means that the harmony is broken. If you feel satisfied and even happy - both at home and at work - then everything is in order. Of course, each of us periodically experiences conflict or problem situations, but in this case we are not talking about them. I’m talking now about the long-term internal state of a person.”

The feeling of balance or harmony is exclusively individual for each person, which, moreover, changes more than once throughout life. But despite all the individuality, there is one commonality: everyone should strive for such life balance.

Why is the balance upset?

The imbalance manifests itself in different ways: mistakes, tense relationships with colleagues, professional burnout, insomnia, a constant feeling of discomfort, lack of strength, energy, time for yourself, family, health, sports, hobbies. If you are familiar with these sensations, then you know first-hand about the root causes of imbalance.

Processing

The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) analyzed country-by-country data on the number of working hours per year and the degree of “life satisfaction.” And they came to the conclusion that balance largely depends on the number of hours spent at work. Recycling jeopardizes people's safety, affects their health, increases stress levels and has only short-term effects.

The latter thesis is confirmed by Facebook co-founder and Asana startup creator Dustin Moskowitz:

“If you work more than 40-50 hours a week, then the productivity from additional work quickly decreases and soon goes into the negative - this is the result of an analysis done by Henry Ford at the beginning of the 20th century, who studied production with the goal of maximizing profits.

Using the method of emergency work, you can achieve better results for several weeks, but you will have to pay for this later by restoring your strength. Plus, you only become a victim of the illusion that the speed of work has increased. This applies to everything: the number of hours you work per week, the number of minutes you can focus for, the number of vacation days per year.”.

Lack of achievements and pleasures

A feeling of harmony and balance in life is impossible as such if there are no achievements (desired success in some area) and pleasures (pleasure from something) in life at the same time. Trying to live only on one side of the coin does not lead to a complete feeling of happiness. English billionaire Richard Branson speaks about the place of his favorite business in life:

“A person spends up to 80% of his time at work, so it is very important to find something that you are truly passionate about. And if everyday work is tedious and terribly boring for you, it’s better to consider a career change.”

Sacrifices for a career

Building a career requires sacrifice, of course. But not on a permanent basis. Irina Bucur is sure of this:

“In order to find your business and achieve success in it, you need to be completely focused on your goal. That is why during this period family, friends, and personal hobbies fade into the background. And this is neither bad nor good - this is the only opportunity to achieve something in life.

But often, in pursuit of the next goal or peak, a person does not have time to realize that life is not only work. It is very important to be able to stop in time and look around, so as not to lose yourself, not to lose loved ones.”

Hence, Irina’s main advice is to stop, see who is next to you, and organize your life so that there is room in it not only for work. In other words, harmony and balance in life must always be maintained.

Balance must be constantly maintained

1. Take on no more than eight roles

Throughout life, we play various social roles: subordinate, leader, spouse, parent, energetic tennis player, etc. It has been calculated that if a person plays fewer than eight social roles, his life is under control. Exceeding this number results in an imbalance.

How many roles do you currently play in the theater named after yourself?

2. Delegate, simplify and say goodbye.

Do only what is important. Delegate the rest, simplify or completely say goodbye to tasks and plans.

Workaholism is often a blind belief that only hard work can achieve success and wealth. But often such a postulate turns into “drug addiction”, work for the sake of work, inability to delegate, disorganization.

3. Set boundaries and stick to a schedule.

Keep track of how many hours you spend working (per week or month, not per day). Remember, this also includes time spent worrying or thinking about your work-life balance. All this is one of the signs of work stress.

Take the time to get home from work just to tune in to your personal life. That is, work should be left at work and not brought into the house.

4. Stick to the perfect productivity formula

Practice total immersion. If the complexity of the task greatly exceeds your skills, this is an area of ​​stress. If you can do much more than you need to do, this is an area of ​​boredom. By balancing stress and boredom, you will be able to fully immerse yourself in your work and not be distracted by irritants. Beware of false breaks, useless Internet surfing. It is better to plan breaks and stick to them strictly. Don’t be shy about talking about excessive demands to management. “It is the manager who is responsible for the correct organization of work - for how the schedule is formed, how the loads are distributed. Excessive and frequent overwork will result in a person simply becoming exhausted, which means that he simply does not have enough strength for constructive decisions or new ideas. This is one of the main reasons why the practice of squeezing everything possible out of a person is not acceptable to me,” Irina Bucur confirms the idea.

5. Hobbies and sports

Stress at work affects mental health. Reduce stress levels through exercise, relaxation, hobbies, positive rituals - activities for the body and soul.

6. Make time for loved ones

According to the English billionaire Richard Branson, it is always necessary to work and rest at full strength:

“Just because you work hard at your career doesn't mean you can't live life to the fullest the rest of the time. Make time with your loved ones a priority. Add it to your work calendar the same way you would add a meeting. Come on, relax."

Determine what success is for you, what pleasure is for you, how to get the support of your family and not lose yourself - and move only in these directions.

21 year old intern Bank of America Merrill Lynch Moritz Erhardt died after three days of work from overwork. According to English media reports, the intern worked 20 hours a day.

The importance of balance

A state of internal balance is important for many reasons. Firstly, it allows you to feel the taste of life and satisfaction. There is time for work, but there is also time for family, sports, health and personal hobbies, which overall gives a feeling of fullness, richness and diversity of life. Secondly, maintaining balance allows you to maintain tone, strength and the desire to continue working with high productivity. No one can operate at peak efficiency all the time. We need rest, unloading, switching. Otherwise, you cannot avoid work burnouts, downshifts, total fatigue and the desire to finish everything and run away. Such breakdowns are a clear indicator of an imbalance towards work. Thirdly, balance is important in order to have time to deal not only with operational activities, but also with issues of a strategic nature. What do I want, what do I strive for, what do I want to see this business like in three, five years. How do I want to see myself and my children? What are my inner values, mission, meaning? Why do I do what I do, and how does my answer coincide with what my life is really about?

Individual balance ratio

Each of us is special, and each of us has our own understanding of balance. Hypothetically, it would be possible to derive some generalized “ideal ratio” of the distribution of forces during the day, where work takes no more than seven hours a day, sleep - about eight hours, time with family - four hours, and the remaining five hours you devote to yourself and development. It all looks quite harmonious and beautiful, but in practice there are many people who will laugh at this scheme and whose high efficiency and fullness of life proves the unacceptability of standard approaches. Business leaders are inherently unusual people with high levels of efficiency and self-motivation. Therefore, when talking about balance, it makes sense to proceed not from standard schemes, but from a coaching analysis of the individual, his tasks, vision and goals.

How to understand that the balance is broken?

Fortunately, there are some pretty clear indicators that the balance is off. I say “fortunately” because paying attention to yourself allows you to notice the problem in the early stages and begin a preventive policy of internal changes. If we perceive human life as a system of internal and external interactions, then the presence of failure and distortion will be reflected at all levels of the system.

I suggest you test yourself according to the following criteria:

• Loss of former personal effectiveness, decreased business efficiency. There is no energy for the development of new projects, the emphasis is on maintaining business.
• Difficulties in relations with the business environment at different levels: partners, shareholders, managers, subordinates, clients. Without resting and restoring, we begin to subconsciously resist and destroy the system that does not allow us to do this.
• Emotional beacons: lack of strength and desire to reach new heights, internal emptiness, a feeling of impasse and crisis. Fatigue. There is no point in all this running around and activity.
• Physical beacons: illnesses, health problems.
• Problems with personal life: either it doesn’t exist at all, or everything is very confusing, or it’s a temporary relationship that empties more than it fills. Problems with the family, with the other half, with children, relatives. Including psychosomatic illnesses of loved ones, as their subconscious way of attracting your attention.
• There is no time for yourself, health, sports, personal interests and development.

If you answered yes to most of the six questions, it makes sense to look at things honestly and rethink the existing distribution of effort and time. Before we move on to methods to correct the situation, I would like to suggest that we take a very close look at the causes of the existing imbalance. It is my deep conviction that the question “How to correct the situation?” is generally secondary and sometimes even irrelevant compared to taking an honest look at yourself and how and why you have created the balance that you have in your life. And what are your ideas, priorities and fears behind it.

Why is there no balance? What could be the reasons?

You can say the right platitudes that the speed of all processes is increasing, that competitors are pressing, that it is impossible to achieve a breakthrough without full concentration on business, and so on. All this is true, but it won’t make it any easier for you. Moreover, we could give you time management techniques and tools for improving your own efficiency by answering a whole class of questions under the general title “how to run faster.” These methods are useful if applied, and yet our resources are still limited.

So instead of all this I will say one outrageous thing. I anticipate your indignation and, nevertheless, I suggest you seriously think about it. What if Is it beneficial for you not to have a balance? Being under time pressure, paranoid, indispensable, in an eternal crisis of time is profitable and familiar! You may not think about it this way consciously, but looking at your results gives us a clear picture of the balance you believe in. The results don't lie.

Why, for example, the head of the company Drive Dance Dmitry Sokolov works six months a year and manages to travel around the world, but someone works 362 days a year (except for New Year and March 8) and has difficulty making a profit? Why Vladislav Zagrebenko manages to get three degrees, manage an investment company and be a co-owner of a number of businesses, while at the age of 45 (which is very late for big-time sports) set three world records in swimming, and someone cannot manage a company of 50 people?

For some obvious reasons, people find it beneficial to believe that they have no time and no balance. This allows them to be dissatisfied, irritable and ineffective. And, most importantly, it’s easier. When I see myself as a victim of my own schedule, it allows me to not change anything. There is no need to find time for a child, there is no need to start a family, there is no need to invest 100% in work, there is no need to increase your efficiency in interaction with time. I'm already at my limit. This is a game we play to prove that we are right. A question for self-reflection: how are we paying for this and is this your true choice?

Another reason people don't create a new balance ratio is comfort. People don't change anything in their lives as long as they are satisfied with what they have. And again, they can emotionally say that they are not satisfied with everything, but if everything remains at the level of conversations, the choice they actually make becomes obvious. There are at least two options here. First, you can accept that you are satisfied with the current state of affairs, relax and not change anything. Just treat this as your decision to live now in exactly this rhythm. The second is to admit that you are not satisfied with this, clearly set a goal for what model of work-life balance you will strive for, and start working in a new direction. Make a choice in favor of the goal. Most likely, in this situation, you will have to give up something and start doing something unusual, new: walk with your child for an hour a day, find time to visit the dentist, answer letters within an hour, not two days.

Richard Beckhard's Formula for Change

To summarize, I would like to present Richard Beckhard’s formula for change, according to which change will occur only if the following inequality is observed:

N x H x PSh > PP,

N – tested dissatisfaction current state, as well as awareness of the internal need for change. It is the difference between the current state or situation and the desired one;

IN - vision, based on your values ​​of the desired future state;

PS - first positive steps, a clear awareness of the first steps towards inner vision and the desire to take them. For sustainability of change, the product of all three quantities must be greater;

PP – current resistance to change. This is a completely normal reaction of the emotional brain. Under the influence of old reactions, we often want everything to go as before.

Each of the variables—Dissatisfaction (D), Vision (V), or clarity of First Steps (CS)—may be large enough to prompt change, but achieving sustainability of change may not be easy. The greatest impetus for change occurs when all three work together.

Algorithm for restoring balance:

• Understand what you really want.
• Understand the cost - what are you willing to do for it.
• Find the energy and motivation within yourself to realize it.
• Work on creating new models in your life until you achieve the desired result.

In other words, you can approach the creation of your new life as an ordinary business project with all the necessary stages: goal -> preliminary investment analysis -> resource analysis -> action plan -> implementation -> control -> course correction -> achieving results .

Now, finally, the right time has come to ask the question. "How"? Let's work with each of the four main components of the algorithm.

1. What do you really want?

There are many ways to answer this question for yourself. The simplest thing we are recommended to do in time management is to write a list. There are great questions that help us engage in this process. For example, what would you like to see your life like in five years: business size, profit margins, quality of life, quality of family relationships? How much would you like to weigh, what would you like to look like, how much time would you like to devote to yourself?

If it’s difficult to work independently, we have coaches at our disposal who are excellent at asking these very right questions, there are self-development trainings, there are MBAs that will help you see new horizons, there are books, after all. For example, a book by a business consultant professor Arkady Prigogine “Goals and Values” and many others.

2. What are you willing to do?

If an honest answer is limited to the phrase “dream, talk about it,” then you can’t count on real changes. If the need for change is beyond doubt, then the next step will be to realize what I have to do to achieve what I want, and when I will achieve it. Be clear and honest with yourself in taking responsibility for your life. This is a common phenomenon when people who have enormous responsibility for business take a rather irresponsible approach to their health, for example, or to what is happening in their family. The focus has been shifted, or, to be more honest, they have shifted the focus and left something to chance. And since they created it themselves, they can fix it themselves if they choose.

3. Where can I find the energy for change?

I highlight this block of work separately, as it is very important. There are four sources of energy that keep us in good shape throughout life (book Jimi Loera and Tony Schwartz "Life at Full Power!"):

• Physical energy
• Emotional Energy
• Intellectual energy
• Spiritual Energy

Consistency is important here too. It all starts with the level of physical activity, sports. In the Russian business community, this trend is now being observed, when people from serious business at a quite advanced age begin to engage in sports professionally, and quite serious types: marathon running, triathlon, swimming. This is followed by everything that fills us with positive emotions: music, paintings, cinema, communication with loved ones, with children, outdoor recreation, a beloved dog, etc. The next step will be the development of intelligence, a constant commitment to self-development. And finally, a connection with your spirituality, be it religion or simply an understanding of your values, attention to your inner needs. This whole complex, becoming regular and familiar, is not only a trigger for temporary uplift and change, but also a guarantee of longevity and well-being.

4. Put the plan into action.

At every moment of time we make a choice. Even when we don't, we are simply choosing not to choose, and that has consequences. The chain of our choices has brought us to where we are now. It is logical that for a new balance we will need to make different choices. Understanding what your choice is is very simple - look at the actions and results. The most important thing is to consciously understand that whatever you do is your choice, your decisions.

The choice has several levels: in setting a goal/lack of a goal, in declaring/not declaring this goal, in action/inaction, and, finally, in relation to: torment and suffer or to enjoy the realization of your dream. You can do exercises and quietly hate all this physical activity, or you can do exactly the same exercises and understand that you can do it with pleasure and gratitude to yourself. That right at this moment you can respect yourself for finally starting to take care of yourself and do something that would not have happened on its own if you had not given it attention and importance. The process has begun!

It is also important to understand that the current state of affairs, whatever it may be, did not arise by chance. It was the best choice you could imagine at that time. But this is the essence of development, that old models that were previously effective give way to new visions of yourself and your work-life balance. When this comes from theory to practice, you will have a completely different life. Life to the fullest!

Galina Kushnareva , company business coach "Business Relations"

Photo:pixabay

“Time flies when you're having fun,” the saying goes. It flies unnoticed even when you are overloaded with work - but at the same time you have no time for fun, since you are experiencing such tension that can cause serious overwork, which, in turn, will have a detrimental effect not only on your psychological state, but also on physical health.

When you are chronically short of time, you need to sacrifice something, but what - work or personal life? Maintaining a reasonable balance has become one of the most pressing issues of our time.

These are some of the main reasons why more and more people are thinking about work-life balance.

• More women working means more pressure on parents to balance work and family.
• Increasing life expectancy also means an increase in the number of workers who need to care for elderly family members.
• Increasing working hours and enormous workload as a result of using modern technologies (overflowing inboxes, a lot of information from the Internet, constantly ringing phones) mean professional burnout at a younger age.

A well-balanced employee life will result in fewer stress-related illnesses, less time spent on sick leave, less turnover and higher productivity.

People who maintain a proper balance between work and other responsibilities and interests tend to be more motivated and productive, in other words, satisfied people perform better.

• What is work-life balance?

Achieving a healthy work-life balance means changing your work style so that you have enough time for home responsibilities and leisure time.

And although recently more attention has been paid to the problems of parents with small children and people who care for their loved ones, quality of life is important for any person, and achieving a reasonable balance between work and personal life is a very significant component of it.

• My boss doesn't seem to care if I have time for my personal life. Are leaders taking this problem seriously?

Fortunately, more and more managers are realizing the importance of a reasonable distribution of time between the work and personal lives of their employees, and I want to believe that your boss will soon understand this too.

If you want to talk to him about this, explain that flexible working is dictated by a real business need - work culture and attitudes are changing in many countries, and employers are forced to take this into account if they want to retain their number one asset - their staff.

• I'm concerned that my boss won't even consider my request for flexible work. How can I get what I want without risking my position?

One of the most common approaches to any negotiation is to create a wish list that includes an ideal solution, a realistic solution, and an acceptable minimum.

If you demonstrate that you are willing to work flexible hours, your manager will probably accommodate you. Be realistic, but also be willing to compromise.

If you are concerned that your boss will not approve of the idea, find out if your organization will allow you to invite a union representative to a meeting with him to discuss the request.

If permission is received, make sure that he first reads a copy of your request and other documents related to the case - in general, he gets a complete picture of the current situation.

It is quite possible to switch to a part-time job without demotion and loss of benefits, such as sick leave and vacation pay. If you are concerned about this issue, you can familiarize yourself with the labor legislation, where all your rights are described in detail.

How to find a balance between work and personal life?

#1 Assess your work-life balance. To get a clear picture of how your current lifestyle fits into your ambitions and demands both at work and outside of it, it's important to be analytical.

Assess where you are on the career ladder, how satisfied you are with your job, how hard you work at it - and set yourself a number of career goals, developing a realistic schedule for achieving them.

You also need to analyze your personal life. What are its main components? Who can't you imagine your existence without? What do you get from it? By formulating answers to such fundamental questions, you will be able to understand for yourself what you are missing in life and what is preventing you from achieving what you want.

Decide what you would like to devote more time to and what you would like to spend less time on, and think about how you can change the current state of things. Only when you have set specific goals for yourself and set how long it will take to achieve them can you consider how more flexible working hours can help you achieve your goals.

#2 Gain a complete understanding of your employment options. Full-time workers today have the right to paid maternity and parental leave, as well as the right to leave (paid or unpaid, as appropriate) to care for family members in need.

However, there are other employment options that you need to consider through the prism of your needs and preferences for work-life balance. These include:

Work on a flexible schedule. People who work flexibly can set their own start and end times as long as they work the prescribed number of hours each week.

This is the best option not only for parents who are trying to devote enough time to their family, but also for people who are gradually driven into despondency and deprived of motivation by the daily routine with strict time frames. Each person's activity level varies throughout the day, but not necessarily in sync with others, so flexible scheduling is a good way to increase productivity.

Another significant advantage of a flexible work schedule, especially for those who live in a big city and commute to work by transport, is that it allows you to avoid traveling during rush hours - probably one of the most wasteful and stressful parts of the day.

Part-time work. Part-time employees may work fewer days per week or fewer hours per day. This option is also quite good for people burdened with parental responsibilities or caring for a family member.

It is also attractive to those returning to work after maternity or sick leave, and those who want to pursue some hobby at the same time.

Division of work. Two people share the workload of one full-time worker, and in equal proportions. This option is suitable for those who want to maintain certain career prospects, while spending more time with their children or doing other things.

Homework or telepresence. Many activities today can be easily done on a computer connected to the Internet, at home or remotely (telepresence).

This type of work is more preferable not only for parents and those who need to care for loved ones, but also for other categories of people who are not burdened with such responsibilities, since it allows them to work more productively, especially when performing tasks that require significant concentration and uninterrupted silence and peace.

For some, working from home or remotely full time may be unusual, but for some employers, such cooperation also allows them to save money by reducing office space.

Work with breaks during school holidays. This option allows employees to take time off during school holidays to look after their children. Such leave is usually unpaid - however, wages may be paid in the same amount throughout the year.

This scheme is most suitable for workers in industries where there are seasonal highs and lows. This is not the end of the range of options organizations provide to help you achieve a healthy balance.

In addition to the options discussed above, it also includes:

• staggered working day: each employee has his own start time, lunch break and end time;
• extended working hours: employees work the same number of hours per week, but fewer working days;
• shift exchange: workers agree with each other about who goes on what shift;
• calculation of working hours on an annual basis: as a result, employees have greater flexibility in terms of time off and vacations;
• indication of the start time of work: each person indicates his preferred time, after which shifts are organized taking into account the wishes of as many workers as possible;
• Career break: In addition to maternity and parental leave, employees can take an unpaid career break or sabbatical;
• time off: employees who worked overtime are given time off;
• Flexible Benefits and Meal Benefits: Employees have a range of benefits to choose from.

#3 Submit a request to switch to flexible work hours. Do your research. First of all, make sure you are eligible. For most people, the need for a flexible schedule is dictated by family circumstances.

In some countries, parents of children under 6 years of age or children in need of care under 18 years of age can apply for flexible working if they have at least six months of continuous work experience at the time of making the request. relevant company or organization.

Some organizations also provide the opportunity to work flexible hours if necessary to care for a dependent adult family member - a spouse, father or mother.

Once you know your company's flexible work policy, talk to friends or co-workers who have already done it and work it. How did they approach their request? Did this transition live up to their expectations? Remember that if you are allowed to switch to a different work schedule, switching back is unlikely to be possible - unless you discuss this with your employer.

#4 Present a compelling argument. Formulate your arguments and try to predict the questions that your manager may ask you at the meeting about your request.

Managers may refuse such requests because they fear that individual employees adopting flexible work arrangements could negatively impact the overall performance of the company, so be prepared to provide thoughtful, positive answers to the following questions.

• Can you continue to be an effective team member?
• How will your switch to a different schedule affect your colleagues?
• How will it affect the work you do?
• What about the functioning of the company as a whole?

Think about what date you would like to work the new schedule and provide the company with advance notice. By doing this, you will let management know that you are still committed to the company and are well aware that your possible change to a different work schedule will have a certain impact on its activities.

Emphasize that the quality of your work and your motivation will not change, and your productivity will even increase because you will feel less stressed and take less time off to care for a sick child.

In addition, you can say that you are also ready to meet the employer halfway and agree to work overtime when necessary (just be sure to keep your word). Finally, explain what knowledge and experience you have gained while working for the company and how you benefit the company.

The following are common habits when trying to adopt a flexible work schedule.

#1 You're not preparing properly. Before you submit a request to switch to flexible working hours, you need to do some preparatory work.

First, understand all your rights by researching the issue: read laws and other legal acts that provide detailed information about this.

Second, review your company's position on this issue and follow the appropriate procedures when submitting a written request. Think about the questions your manager might ask you about the impact of flexible working on your workload and the workload of your colleagues, and formulate answers to them.

#2 You are not flexible. Remember that legislation governing flexible working only gives you the right to make a request to switch to it - but does not guarantee that your company will respond positively to your request, although it is obliged to give due consideration to it.

If you are flexible when meeting with your manager and demonstrate a willingness to compromise, even if the ideal scenario is not possible, you will have a better chance of getting what you want.

#3 You don't think through all the financial implications. Don't forget that it's not just your salary that may change when you switch to shorter working hours. Pension fund contributions and other benefits may also undergo changes. Therefore, before you decide to apply for a flexible schedule, make sure that this option suits you financially.

Thus, a reasonable balance between work and personal life is a choice for each of us.